When I was younger, about 11-12, my mom and I went to Macy's. I decided to wander off, something I always did when we shopped because I found it boring. My mom normally had no problem with it, but on this particular day when I found her in line and approached her, the first thing she does is snatch me up and proceed to beat the shit out of me. I remember her grabbing the back of my head and slamming me into a clothesrack, and if my head were a few inches higher, the end-part of the clothes rack would have went right in my eye, probably blinding me from the force. I remember after it was over, the employees and other shoppers just standing there, watching. No one offered to help or said anything. They just stared at me. Later, when we were in the car, my mom broke down and apologized, explaining that she was stressed out from work and didn't mean it. We both then silently cried during the car ride home, but for different reasons. I even remember that same night, her on the phone telling her friend what happened and her saying, "we just cried together in the car," and me immediately being pissed off that she used the word "together." I'm 21 and over it now. I love my mom and appreciate her sacrifices but I can not stand her and have since realized that being angry won't solve anything, and I finally acknowledge that we'll never have a close emotional bond nor do I want one. But for many years, I was fucked up by that incident.

To this day, my mother swears on everything that she does not remember this incident happening. I'm not sure if she's convinced herself that it didn't, is lying to not feel guilty, or just genuinely does not remember beating me up. I'm not mad anymore about the incident, I'm mad that she doesn't remember.