Probably the death of my dad.

He passed away last February, and very unexpectedly, almost as soon as he passed, my mother and sister turned on me, sent me shitty and sarcastic texts the day he died, took whatever inheritance I had, left a box of garbage at my house to remember my dad by and we didn't speak again. If it sounds unnaturally truncated, it was. I still haven't really been able to process any of that in a reasoned way, not Dad's death, not the rest of it. I didn't try to confront them because I'm still numb.

Mother never really did me the courtesy of telling me what I'd done, if anything: my perpetually rage-afflicted sister had physically threatened me some months before and I'd been avoiding crossing paths with her, but there was no direct conflict or explanation. I was so grieved at my dad's death I couldn't even respond to my mother. I haven't spoken to her, or by extension the rest of the family, since. When Dad died I lost them all. I wouldn't know how to speak to them now. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with them. Xanax? Alcohol? Just shit talk I didn't bother to notice in time? Did I do something? Did someone claim I did? I don't know.

It hasn't been the best year ever