I realized that my home town definitely has some distaste towards me.
Last time I was at a wedding there, I left crying because it was so obvious.
I was a very quiet kid and for the last few years of high school I was friends with this kid that not many people liked, but I was so quiet I never really got anyone’s opinion on him and we got along so whatever.
Turns out he was a dickhead to his gf, I began to see it a bit over the years but I was dumb and he’d lie to me about her be in trusty. In reality he was CONSTANTLY cheating on her, which I learned years later.
Anyway, he went to jail a couple years after grad for collecting and trading child porn.
So everybody who learned this must’ve accused me of guilt by association.
Even my own dad, who broke the news to me, leaving me in shock, didn’t even give me time to process the news before he started screaming at me and accusing me of looking at it to. “How could you not of known?!? You’re with him every day!! You had to of known!!”
Anyway. A couple years passed since his release and I stopped talking to him.
I show up to this wedding.
The dance floor opens, so I go up having had a couple drinks and start dancing. People start to disperse but I think nothing of it. A couple kids come up and ask me how I’m doing certain moves. So I get them to mimic me and chuckle at their attempts to do some footwork. Next a mom comes up and grabs them both by the arms, kids clearly want to keep dancing and she just goes “you guys don’t need to be dancing”
I smile at her, she is NOT happy. Immediately I have a feeling in my stomach.. like … is this something to do with that? I start feeling panicky and walk off the dance floor and brush it off thinking ‘it’s just in my head’.
I see a group of old high school classmates, I’m far more social then I was back then so I go up and greet the entire group.
The entire group turns and just LOOKS at me. Not a single recognition, just stares. I feel myself go flush. One guy goes “anyway, come on” and all of them immediately followed.
I turned around and realized I was in the verge of tears so I went outside and snuck behind the building and cried.