A bit over a decade ago I got into the habit of, before going to sleep, thinking of romantic scenarios, sometimes including conflicts, but always a healthy relationship, someone saying words of endearment to me and vice versa, etc.

Yes, I know it sounds pathetic, but id like to think it has kept me sane through a lot of lonely years, as a woman with bad social anxiety and depression and no romantic/sex/social life to speak of.

These days I’m trying to make a lot of big life changes though, so now most of the time I instead repeat self affirmations....hoping that they’ll help with my confidence and motivation during said changes, so that some day, maybe I can look at my life and at myself in the mirror and see someone who deserves an actual person to be in bed with and to tell me they love me, instead of someone who doesn’t exist.