Here's the whole situation:

I've worked at this job for a year. There are 4 employees in the office including myself, plus the boss and his wife. Twice a week the boss will take us all out to lunch or order lunch in. This is nice, but it means I don't get a break away from these people.

These people are nice, but are annoying after a while. On my lunch break, I like to go off on my own and run errands and eat wherever I want and smoke an e-cigarette without revealing to these busy-body people that I'm a smoker. Not be forced to eat with my boss and coworkers.

From time to time, especially on days where food is ordered in, I'll say "oh I have to run an errand today" and leave on my own. But that excuse can't be used on the regular, and they do this two times a week every single week, so at least 90% of the time I am forced to go with them.

And I do mean "Forced," more or less. The boss demands that you join him and his wife (co-owner) for lunch by walking over to each of our desks and saying "come on, time for lunch, we're going to Restaurant Name" and they drive us all together in his minivan and you basically have to go. Idk how you would say "no thanks" to that more than the occasional time and still be able to stay in their good graces.

Ultimately I think there is nothing I can do besides suck it up, and sneak away for a long bathroom break before and after lunch to have my e-cig. Right?

But this is pretty ridiculous of them, right? Knowing that other people would find this absurd and be irritated too will make me feel better even if there is nothing I can do.

The only thing I could possibly do is say something direct, right? Well I'm not going to do that. This place pays awesome but it's so small that you gotta stay on the boss's good side, which is very easy. He's a very nice and reasonable person. He thinks he's being super nice and generous by taking us out to lunch; he'd call this a "perk" of employment. And the other coworkers LOVE it and ask for it and recommend restaurants even before the boss has brought up the idea of going out that day. I'm the only one that doesn't like it, and if I said anything, he'd take it as me saying I don't like him or the other employees, and that just wouldn't go over well.

tl;dr: My boss takes us all out to lunch about twice a week and while that is generous, it means I don't get a break form these people which I desperately need!