So.. as a former 12 year old middle class white kid from indiana.. what I did--and still do-- is use my music as medicine. Things made me mad, I'd use that. Things made me sad, I'd let myself be sad and write myself happy again. If I was already happy and in a good mood, it was that vibe I would try to capture. If I had nothing on my mind, but wanted to rap, I'd let the beats tell me what I needed to say. To be honest I still depend on the beats to talk to me.
Obligatory "back in my day".. all i had available to me as far as obtaining beats went was a website called soundclick... it is exponentially easier to access free to use instrumentals now, but soundclick still exists and doesn't get enough love.
I'm on the spectrum, so mental health is a big component of my music. If I can't help myself through my music, maybe I'm helping someone else and that is just as good.
My advice:
1) Study the goats. Tupac is why I rap. I found his poetry. The rose that grew from concrete... in the event of my demise... etc. started writing my own poems and it just clicked one day that rap is just poetry with music behind it.
2) Rap battle yourself. I mean, talk mad shit to yourself. If you're self-conscious about feeling like you don't belong in hip hop-- convince yourself how stupid of a thought that was while you lyrically break yourself down and rebuild yourself simultaneously.
3) Be. You. This is my biggest obstacle. I made the mistake of trying to parallel my ability, or "keep up" with who I thought the best lyricist was. That was Em. I even made a song called "Like Marshall" where I complain about people saying I sound like him, but truly, I do get it. Truth is, music is emotion captured. And trying to confine that, limit that, set expectations for reactions to that, is a waste of time. Find you. Then be you. Grow and adapt, but never stray away from you. This is my only redeeming quality from me sounding like em.
4) Confidence in your craft. Don't have it? Fake it. Make it sound like you know every line you're rapping is intentional and supposed to be heard by someone.
5) Practice. Go to the basics. Write verses focusing on specific elements. 1 verse using only metaphors. 1 verse only similies. 1 verse working on punchlines. 1 verse working on internal rhymes. Play with rhyme schemes. ABAB..try ABBA.. Eventually you'll be able to combine pieces of all of these elements into every verse you write. Those ABAB's just get more complex and end up with little letters to the 2nd and 3rd power sprinkled in. Cant freestyle? Practice. It is not if you mess up a line, it aaalllllll depends on how you recover. Practice daily.
If you read this far, incredible. I apologize for the text wall but I couldn't not say something. I've literally been in your exact place. Maybe even town lmao. I actually think my Spotify and TikTok link are in my bio. TT is where most of my following is, so I have more content there. But I'm 80.k on all steaming platforms and I'm about 5 tracks away from finishing a 2 part album. That will be up sometime this fall!
Best of luck on your journey. I would be more than happy to help you along the way.
Lesson number 6) Use your resources. You'll never know what all is available to you if you don't do yourself the favor of finding out.