I was using my boyfriend's iPad to watch Netflix the other day and he got a notification that his ex texted him. I was confused about why she would contact him so I opened the message (yes I know I shouldn't have snooped but I did anyway) and I discovered that they'd been talking for over 2 months. Nothing explicit, just very friendly and flirty conversations. To me, it was cheating. I confronted him and he denied having contact with her and deleted their messages and essentially tried to gaslight me by telling me how irrational I was being. I told him I read their messages and he tried to lie his way out of it before finally breaking down and apologizing. I feel like an absolute idiot. I've never felt more worthless. Maybe I am overreacting and overly sensitive. But my confidence is shot. I feel weak because I let my worth be defined by another person.

Even worse is that I forgave him...I know that this will create even more problems down the road but I still love him and we've made comfortable lives for ourselves. I feel like an absolute pussy for not standing up for myself but I'm terrified of being alone.