what was the worst phase of your life ?

Honestly right now. I had been struggling with anxiety & depression undiagnosed my freshman year of college, and kept spiraling. I then had 3 consecutive semesters of failing almost all of my courses. I was too anxious to actually trust my counselor this last year so I kept not showing up to the counseling center. Because I wasn’t attending group therapy or individual counseling, my prescriptions were stopped. I couldn’t receive accommodations because I let it build up too long. I was never feeling better & I couldn’t focus on anything, so I finally gave up this spring entirely & stopped going to classes at all, barely leaving my dorm room.

I planned on taking a gap year and living with a friend to improve my mental health & work to feel secure financially. Then everything happened and I had to move home with my parents five hours away. I applied for leave of absence and I’m waiting for that to get approved but I don’t even know if I can ever get into the major I love ever. I can’t find a job. I’m in a small city & apartment I never wanted to return to. I haven’t communicated with my scholarship because I’ve been too afraid. I have basically thrown away my future, when I had worked so hard for so long to create the opportunities I had. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to afford to save up enough to move out, much less to afford college on my own. My family is low income & they tell me almost daily how disappointed they are that I couldn’t do the one thing they expected of me: to graduate with a degree. Anytime I sleep in or am on my phone they say that they can see why I failed college, that I am lazy, that I have no work ethics, that I am a failure. I have ruined my own life. I feel like a passenger to my own decisions. I see no escape from the hole I’ve dug myself into. I have no end to the regret I feel & the feeling that I’ve let down everyone. I have no one within several hundred miles that I can open up to. I honestly feel like I’m never going to go anywhere in life anymore & I haven’t felt this low in my whole life. It’s the most uncertain I’ve ever felt about things actually working out this time

/r/AskReddit Thread