GF of two years, whom I was in love with, the kind of love that I would die for, became suicidal due to the distance between us and the the stress of starting college. I dated said girl through my junior and senior year of highschool and she was my military ball date for both years. It was of those relationships that was built over time with a lot of hard work. This girl was obsessed with me, like in the good way, completely head over heals, and I was also. Shortly after we graduated and went to college (hers was about half an hour away from mine), she started hurting herself and talking about how she wasn't worth being alive. I spent hours every week talking about it and trying to make her happy. The only time I wouldn't give up for her was the time I used for studying because we had agreed that we wouldn't let our relationship get in the way of academics. One afternoon, I went to a football game at her school and had planned to stay the night in her dorm. I had a test the next day that I was still uncomfortable about so I decided to leave early to get some extra studying. When I left, she cried and threatened to hurt herself. Later that night she sent me pictures of welts on her hand and arm after she punched a desk. This was the first time that I realized that I was the cause of her depression. About a week later, she was talking to me on the phone and while crying, started telling me about her ideas to walk in front of a car on a busy street nearby. This is when I knew I had to get her to stop loving me before she killed herself. Id rather her hate me and still be alive. I made up an elaborate lie about how I had cheated on her and even convinced most of my friends that it was true. Only one other person was in on it. It took her 3 weeks after I told her before she finally let go of that love. Although she is still alive and probably happier than she ever was with me, I fucking hate myself for the pain I put her through and still have nightmares about it. I know she's not on reddit but I really wish she would read this. I'm sorry K, I only did it to protect you.