When I was in grade school, I was that girl that boys would joke around with their friends saying "X likes Bugrug!" as a way to embarrass their friend because in reality, nobody would like me. Didn't help that I was one of the only five asians in a white-dominant school. I wore baggy clothes because my family was poor and mom wanted me to grow into them. Puberty hit me. My hair got greasy and I started getting a lot of acne in middle school. At family gatherings, how to treat my acne would be a group discussion while I just sat there. I got braces too. The one time I was walking home from school during middle school, some girl yelled "Ugly ch*nk b&tch!" at me.

It wasn't until my senior year in high school that I started dressing better. People started to compliment me on my outfits. I got haircuts + hairstyles that fit me. I subbed to /r/skincareaddiction and worked on my skin. Come high school graduation my skin was better and my friends that were guys started to make passes at me. (Lost them when I got a bf, but they magically came back when we broke up.) I started wearing makeup my 2nd year in university. I'd get catcalled. Guys would try to stop me on the street to talk to me. This one time this guy from my university that I never met or saw, messaged me on Facebook to tell me I was pretty and he wanted to go on a date. Guys tell me they have crushes on me. The guys that I work with tell each other that they think I'm hot. I get numbers as a server. I get complimented a lot on my looks now by everyone. But because I grew up insecure and people joked about me one too many times, I still think people are trying to embarrass me/make me feel bad/trick me or something. Also becoming friends with guys is a lot harder now because eventually most of the time it comes to surface that they have more than just platonic feelings for me.