Shared before, bringing it back for this...

There was this girl I was really intense with over the span of a few years. She was in and out of my life and one time she came back into my life and had a kid at that point. She was no longer with the father because he was mentally unstable and obsessive.

Anyway, we get pretty intense again and it was not uncommon for her baby daddy to call her over and over or text her non-stop.

So one night, she and I and another friend decide to go out to a bar to see a band play. When we were on our way he was blowing up her phone and she had picked up multiple times to tell him to fuck off and then she'd hang up. She couldn't turn off her phone in case her sitter had to call with an emergency.

Now, one thing I was known for in my town was my mean streak/psycho side. If I felt someone deserved it, I would tear them apart and ruin them with words. It was almost like a hidden talent at that point. My friend knew this about me.

We had stopped at a gas station and her phone was ringing. She picked it up, looked at the screen to see it was him, handed me her phone and said "Get rid of him."

I took the phone, answered, and prepared to unleash hell. I started out trying to be nice but he laid into me because I was supposedly stealing his one true love and brain washing her and blah blah blah blah blah. He started name calling and I told him he really didn't want this to get nasty because he would lose. He continued.

"Game On!" I thought to myself. At that point I had heard enough about him to really hit hard. I wanted to hurt this guy. I enjoyed it. I PURPOSEFULLY said the worst things I could muster because I wanted to make him feel like shit and ultimately stop calling because if he did call, I would answer and make him feel worse.

So... Long story short, I blast him with every ounce of venom I have. All in all, I was just extremely mean.

The call ends. I win. I brag to my friends. We go to the bar and have a good time. Later in the night towards the end of the show, he called her 12 times in a row but we didn't answer because the music was too loud anyway.

The next morning we found out he hanged himself in his basement. So yeah, most horrible thing I've ever done... Be extremely mean and vile and horrible to someone I hardly even knew because it was fun for me.

Undesired result: I drove a man to kill himself. His son will never know his father.

I blame myself entirely and I have changed DRASTICALLY as a person since then... But I will always feel like a murderer.

A lot of people try to tell me it's not my fault... But... A year or so after that happened I discovered my "other" folder on facebook. There was one message in it. From him, dated the night he killed himself. All it said was, "Thanks."