My father killed himself when I was thirteen. He had moved out of my stepmothers house who was verbally abusive to both him and myself. I've always felt guilty because my father knew that my stepmother was abusing me, and he was stuck between a rock and a hard space. The stepmother withheld the suicide note from me and told my mother that it blamed me. In college my uncle also killed himself. Last year I was talking to my other uncle and mentioned that the note blamed me. He showed me a copy of the note and it didn't say anything about me. I still deal with the worry that two of my adult male relatives committed suicide, but a lot less feelings of guilt.