For the first time ever, I had the opportunity of inviting a girl to a wedding, so I had invited this girl I had been seeing as my guest at a wedding of a colleague.

Bit of a back-story. Due to my problems with social anxiety over the years I've become kind of a loner and while I do talk & joke around with my colleagues I don't really see them much outside of work, except maybe at bar meets where I drink and just listen in on conversations they are having and never really contributing, but anyways.

While I was waiting for my date, I drank a glass of whiskey to try calm down from the nervous wreck that I was . She arrived looking really beautiful and that did not help. I drove her car to the wedding and until then everything was going alright. We took a detour instead of going directly to the place and chatted while I drove.

We arrive at the wedding and see my colleagues. Nobody is taking notice of us, so I say hi and colleagues are not opening their circles up to us and I go to my office colleagues and they're not looking so friendly either (they told me they were kind of expecting me to be like Hey and run up to them and greet everyone individually I think). I say hi to someone else, talk for a bit and he leaves & then the other, and its just us two standing there in the middle having my work colleagues either ignoring us or staring. So I'm trying to talk to my date and immediately it was apparent that this whole wedding idea was a big mistake. I don't know how she felt, but I felt like a social outcast. I then had a really strong anxiety attack. Palpitations, numbness in my fingers and toes, like there were earth quake tremors, pain in my arm, a lot of tension, confusion, fear and a blank mind. At one point I asked my guest if she wanted to go do something else, because it wasn't going so well. So I turned to more drink to loosen me up. The drinks the barmen were serving, unknown to me were triples (cos apparently its common knowledge that at open bar weddings they serve triples),and I was mixing drinks and drinking them quickly. I was going easy on the finger food, because my anxiety made me loose appetite and it was a bit difficult to swallow food. I.E. this was a recipe for disaster.

Eventually my colleagues came to me slowly, slowly and started chatting to me and in the mean time my date was left alone at certain periods of time, then I met a colleague and his wife and we just stayed together, while the rest socialized in large groups. At that point, my anxiety got better, but the drink was starting to get to me and I wasn't saying much, in fact, at one point according to this colleague of mine, I wasn't saying anything at all, I was laughing at anyone that came to speak to me. "You didn't tell me hello, how are you?" - my respones "well HAHAHAHAAH". so you can imagine what a great impression I left on my date and then I just wake up in my bed at Midnight. I blacked out for nearly 4 hours afterwhich my date drove me home, took me to bed, undressed me, folded my clothes and tucked me in bed, like a mother would.

That was the last time I saw her.