There's a girl I know who'd been on again off again with this guy who'd cheated on her a few times throughout their relationship. I think they were together for several years during and after high school when she was still in college. He believed he loved her but didn't really understand what that meant. He only ever really poured his heart out and realized what he'd messed up after she broke up with him.
The last time they broke up she decided to get her feelings out on paper and so she wrote herself a list. It wasn't long, wasn't very complicated or even emotional. It was just a list of questions to ask herself in the future for the next time she met someone. Like, "Is he trustworthy? Is he thoughtful? Is he sweet? Does he listen?" The list went on and she wrote all this down because she still knew, after going through so much, what she was worth and she refused to settle.
Few months after making her list and narrowing it down to what was really important to her and focusing on just herself again (to heal and better herself as an individual, not for anyone else but herself), she was working the register at a grocery store and this guy got in her line on purpose because he thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. They'd smiled at each other just a few minutes before in the frozen food section after having passed each other.
He'd been a shit relationship as well. The girl he'd just broken up with was probably legitimately insane and he'd made his mind up to date around to make up for lost time being in a solid, but awful, relationship. But this girl at the register, ringing him up for sushi, she seemed different. He made her laugh, got her number, asked her out and we got married six months after first meeting each other. Thirteen years later that whole "Day One" feeling has never once worn off. I can still make her adorably nervous and shy and she can still reduce me to rubble with a smile or sometimes, most times, when she isn't even aware she's doing anything.
Your happiness is still in there. Not out there, but inside of you. It's just waiting for you to remember you don't need to rely on anyone else to find it again and when you do, you'll be stronger and smarter and not settle for anything less than what you know you're worth.