Thanks for your comment, it's very insightful.

That's definitely tricky, because there is the ability to learn those sorts of things for a good number of the people on the Autism Spectrum who are approachable enough to Neurotypical people to not be immediately read as being on the spectrum. It just takes time and effort and sometimes resources that not everyone has (ready) access to. I'd say that, yes, if they're capable of learning then they should learn and it'll be rightly be held against them if they stubbornly refuse to learn or learn and still do it anyway.

On the other hand, there are aspects of social nuance that, IIRC, some of them, even those on the far end of the spectrum just never can get, so one has to just accept that and use direct language and meta-conversation or direct conversation in detours around those problem areas just for pragmatic reasons. As annoying and/or exhausting as that can be, I don't think that's really something that they can be actively faulted for, even if it will lead to people choosing not to associate with them due to it being too much work.

I'll stop trying to hide the blatantly obvious, this thread is directly relevant to my situation. I created this thread to fish for someone that I can talk to.

My girlfriend has some brain condition due to missing a certain membrane between the hemispheres, it makes the brain make some really weird connections. The result is basically a form of extreme aspergers with a bunch of other really weird quirks.

The thing is, (despite everyone being unique, blah blah blah), she (and the way our relationship works) is completely unique. If I decide that I can't handle it any more then I can't go back on that decision.

I sometimes think I can "see" what the essence of a person really is, beneath any characteristics that they have acquired due to a disability, abuse or etc.. What I "see" in her is a beautiful person who isn't understood properly by anyone.

I get one shot at this unique relationship (I could go into details of why it's unique but it's not too relevant right now I don't think), while no-one else on the planet has the luxury of that choice.

Am I just being a stupid, soppy, inexperienced, 20 year old? Or what?

Most people say "you're 20, you don't need to deal with this bullshit" ... but I'm not sure if I agree with that or not.

Should I just go with "whatever makes you happy"?

Please help :(