I am a father of three boys. The youngest is about 5 months old. My wife wanted a son and I wanted a daughter. After our first USG, my face definitely showed some disappointment while my wife was more excited. But now, every time I put my son to sleep or just cuddle him, I don't want to 'exchange' him for anyone else. Just because your husband didn't show the same excitement as you expected from him doesn't mean that he is a bad father and should be punished. There are many 'sperm donors' who don't give a shit about their kids. But your husband is there for your daughter and your son.You are and will be going through emotional changes and your husband is on this journey with you. Punishing him by not letting him attend the baby shower or the delivery is highly manipulative and abusive.

YTA