YTA you don’t get to jump into your kids lives now expect them to act like everything is fine. I wouldn’t want your wife at my wedding either.

You either are their father, or not. If you aren’t, that’s fine. Keep doing what you’ve been doing. Stay away and provide the necessary financial support you owe them.

If you are their father, that’s also fine, but you have to acknowledge what a shitty and horrible father you are. You could never make up to them what you owe them. You don’t get that be a father now, and act like the first 18 years don’t count. Leaving your wife at home won’t even put a dent into what you should be doing for your kids.

You are their dad, or you aren’t. No cherry picking which years you are, all or nothing.