Okay, if she isn't the thinking type it could just be the counter dependency. That is even better because through repeated exposure to your love and touch she will begin to crave it. With counter dependents, they are forced to live without what they need so they convince themselves that they don't need it. You can melt the "coldness" with love. It will take time, and you have to be determined to reach her heart, but when you do, she will love you with everything she has.

The thing with counter dependents and children is that children don't reject love from their parents. So it is easier for her to show love to them because kids are not judgmental. She doesn't want to be rejected by you so she will avoid trying to put herself out thee. She may not even be aware of her counter dependency at all. These are internalized behaviors that are used to protect herself from rejection and disappointment. That is why she would cheat in the past. When she would get closer to someone she would fear the full commitment and then try to run away by cheating. As I said before, she may not realize why should would have the urge to do these things.