I feel you!

My awkwardness comes from social anxiety and low self-esteem, since I started working on better self-esteem my friends meeting up without me has bothered me less, and mentally I've accepted they don't keep me as close friends and have down-ranked them in my friends league table I guess, and get in with my life rather than stewing on it, haha. Sounds harsh to say it like that but it's kind of true.

No need to throw away acquaintances though, we still have fun at arms length to stop me getting hurt (probably not healthy but works for me). If those friends invite me for a drink once in a blue moon or if I'm in thejr area, sure.

I have some very close friends who are a couple but they are also super introverted, think deeply about relationships and prefer fewer, higher quality friends so we get on well.

I still feel like I don't belong, but I feel like I don't belong with a few other people who also feel like they don't belong so it's less lonely. Those people are out there as you found with your friend you were friends with before, so you are capable of making the high quality friends you are after. Unfortunately it's easier to find extroverts who I might clash with, but the introspective and chill people who are right for me can be found in hobbies, classes, work, etc.

Wish you all the best in putting yourself out there! ❤️