My dad died when I was 7. My mother and siblings (all are older than me) were very openly upset about it at first and I guess I didn't want to add any more stress to their lives, so I tried to act like I was okay. After a few months they kind of went back to 'normal' - expect after this nobody ever liked to talk about my dad. They all dealt with their grief internally - I wanted to talk to people about it, and ask questions but none of my family liked to talk about it so I ended up having to grieve on my own, and also had to try and answer my own questions.

After my dad passed, my paternal grandfather couldn't bare to see me or my siblings because it made him too upset. He stopped seeing us for most on my childhood, until I reconnected with him when I was around 16, he died a year later.

Overall I think I am okay now, the biggest impact on me was how my family grieved for my dad - I respect now that everyone is entitled to grieve the way that they need to but as a result of this I felt completely lost and alone. My heart breaks for 7 year old me, a little girl who's just lost her dad and I didn't have a person in the world who would talk to me about it. Because of this I am incredibly good at dealing with things independently, however I struggle to ask for help when I'm having a tough time. Right now my family are beginning to talk about my dad a bit more, not as much as I'd like, but I appreciate the progress.