I'll just touch on it being unfair for me, because I think that is a misconception about how I feel.

I used to have sex for fun and masturbate. I don't now. I believe the sex I was having when I was with my girlfriend was more fun for me than it was for her, even if it was enjoyable for her too. I think that is something that makes all women uncomfortable is men they are with masturbating and wanting sex more than them, because they enjoy it so much. All the stuff about women needing to serve men and make them happy above them and all that.

So now I don't. And I think it is fair that I don't anymore. There's no reason I need to be having a great time my entire life. Some selflessness to balance out the selfishness is appropriate to me. It might even be that having fun for a man once is too many times, but kids are kids, and all men are stupid at one point or another.

I definitely still have my sex drive. I have a phone full of porn that I enjoy looking at, I just don't act on anything.

And that's unfortunate. I don't want to seem obsessive or possessive. It's not like she doesn't have her flaws, I just feel if I'm going to even out some of the mistakes I make I should stay with what's familiar to me rather than moving onto someone new. Especially because at the end of the day I'm a man, and what I enjoy more than anything is having sex with as many women as possible. So if I want to be a normal functioning person I need to make sure I only have sex with one person.

Part of me wishes I had thought this way from the start so that I could meet someone who I didn't get involved with just to have sex with her. I don't know. I might've still dated her. But I did what I did, and she's the person I had sex with, so I should stay with her.

She has a boyfriend right now, but anything could happen. I hope people change their minds and she's not completely forgotten about me.