Note: This is my first time writing something like this, so it might not be that great.
“Please hand your file to Judge on your way in,” You’d think that hearing this I would be worried, I wasn’t, I felt nothing, I didn’t like not feeling anything. The large double doors closed behind me as I walked up towards a small podium. I walked past the podium up to the only man in the dimly lit room, I handed the man my file. He was the only person in the room, he must be Judge. I walked back to the podium and stood behind it. Judge extended a thin skeletal looking hand, opening my file. The hooded man looked downward studying the contents of the file that had been given to me.
“Jason Smith?” said Judge, his voice was deep and oddly soothing. I was a little surprised, I had expected his voice to sound more like a cardboard box filled with glass shards rolling down an endless hill. I nodded to the man confirming my name, but after about ten seconds of no reaction I added “Yes sir.”
“It says here that when you were 18 you hit a deer with your car?” I was dumbfounded, of all the things I have done in the past I was about to be punished for accidentally hitting a deer.
“Umm, I guess I did, but is that really the reason you're going to pick as justification for sending me to Hell?
“I’m the one who makes the decisions here Mr. Smith. I can send you to Hell for whatever reason I want.” Judge rose his voice angrily. “Now, Is it true that you chaperoned your daughter’s 6th grade field trip to the zoo?”
“Yea I did that, It was a pretty fun day,” was my response. “Hmm… “ was his.
“Well that’s a good thing right?”
“MR. SMITH, need I remind you again?”
“No no, I’m good, I’m gonna shut up now.” I suddenly realized that I was talking to someone who was determining my eternal fate.
“I think this evaluation is done, there don’t seem to be any other blips in your record so I’m going to be lenient with you.”
I gulped, “So where am I ending up,” Judge’s hood seemed to be staring deeply at me, processing my question
“I’m thinking one week of the month spent in Hell, while the rest of the month will be spent in Heaven. Do you have any events in your life that you believe would justify a different sentence?”
It took me a second to process what he was saying. Were two minorly bad things, one of which I would argue was a good thing really enough to justify sending me to Hell for twelve weeks a year? “Mmm, don’t you think that you could do a bit better?” I asked Judge. I think he smiled under his hood, I couldn't see his face to know, it was more like I felt his smile penetrating my very soul, which was basically all that I was. “How about one weekend in Hell per month?” I added
“Two weekends a month.” Judge countered. “How about Two weekends a month and you take your hood off. “I added, if his smile was penetrating me before now it felt like it was straight up stabbing me. “Deal” the voice said to me from under the hood, Judge extended his hand towards me. I left the podium and walked to him and firmly shook his hand, sealing our deal. I looked at my file and I saw my sentence burned into the page, two weekends of Hell a month and “A special Privilege”. Judge’s hands went up to his hood, and pulled it down over his head, revealing it. Judge had long white hair and grey eyes, and as I suspected she had a large smirk on her face, yes Her face, Judge was a woman. “Alright” she said looking at a calendar that had appeared on her left, “It looks like you have two days of Heaven to get comfortable before your first weekend in Hell, Luckily for you I also spend my weekends in Hell, maybe we can get some drinks while we are there.” Judge smiled at me before my spirit faded out of purgatory.