Sing O, Godess the Tale of Jason the Bold, Son of Achilles. An eon ago, over the hills of Macedonia, past the shores of Sparta, beyond the pastures of Thebes, stood the Hero of Toronto, Jason. He stood a giant of his people, his arms made of Iron, his muscles of Bronze, the people waved and cheered wherever he roamed. Yet one day, the plague of Red, scarred his face, the ill omen pimples and acne. Ashamed, and Defeated he fled the lands to hide in his room, in isolation he found solace in the game World of Warcraft, yet he yearned and dreamed of the day of his return to battle. One day, upon the wings of Hermes a message flew, in the form of his friend Heracles. Quick of tongue, wit, and charm, and blessed by Aphrodite and Priapus, he has blessed the chambers of many a maiden with his skill and passion. He said to his ally "Hear my voice friend, for I have brought joyous news, the most beautiful maiden in all the land, Helen of Bloor, is at a festival celebrating the good harvest through food, and wine! you must attend and win your honour, and her love. Jason black with loneliness and despair said "Like forgotten music that recedes into the gentle night my beauty has faded, never to return. I am old now, strength and youth and beauty have fled my bones" Heracles laughed and said "Alas you are only Seventeen, Stop this weeping, bathe in the springs of a holy, prepare your armour, I shall accompany you on your quest for love" "Yet my face still scared from the red curse" Just then Aphrodite looked upon him from Mount Olympus. "It was cruel of the fates to deliver this evil" Thus she aided him by sending a magic potion , acne cream to heal his face. Jason received the gift from the goddess, and said "many thanks" The potion healed his face, restoring his former beauty. "My friend and ally we must prepare" Many an hour passed, as they readied for the harvest, they bathed in the hot springs of Thornhill, and put on Toronto Argonauts Jersey's to win the favour of the crowd. They journeyed the Treacherous subway to travel to the festival, and enter the party. There stood Helen of Bloor, with a face that could launch a 1000 hearts. Accompanied by her stood Eden son of Hector. A cruel smile on his face, he was a sinister genius lacking empathy, remorse, or the capacity for love. His only ambition was the drive for chaos and misery. He sees Jason and says in false mockery "The hero has returned" The crowd became deathly silent. A battle, to be told for millennia was beginning, a battle of gods and men.
"I challenge you to a noble game of beer pong!" said Jason "Bahaha I am the king of Beer Pong" said Eden The table was set, the beer was poured, and the men eyed each other, like animals fighting to the death, circling, watching, waiting to strike. Eden scored the first hit, sinking his ball into the centre cup, Jason said "Gods of Olympus give me Strength! Apollo bless my aim" He strike was true, and Eden was forced to drink. This was repeated until one cup was left for the both of them. Eden was poised to throw the ball when Helen appeared from the doorway, and blew a kiss, heavy with love and lust. Confused Eden missed, and Jason was Victorious! Jason retired to another room of the feast, where Helen appeared and said "hello victor" Jason blushed and said "Thank you fair maiden for your kind words and useful distraction" for it was she that made Eden miss. Helen said seductively "Join me in my chambers?"
Aphrodite high on mount Olympus smiled, for they have found the purest of emotions triumphant love.