It had all started in the Islamic state. At the start people were more happy than confused. No one liked them so everyone was simply cheering the epidemic of lightning strikes going around the Islamic state. Oddly enough it was only the most devoted fighters and religious leaders who were hit by the lightning bolts.
The global meteorological community was enjoy the attention. The spotlight was on them to explain exactly what the fuck was going on. Weather men and researchers who normally were completely irrelevant to the public were having a great time coming up with theories about what was going on. Eventually they had to stop with all the bullshit and admit that they had no idea what was going on.
At this point most people began to realize that there was some sort of divine messaging going on. Of course there were lots of edgy skeptics who claimed that this was impossible, that there had to be some logical, scientific explanation.
However, this group shrunk to a handful of crazy people after Richard Dawkins was found in his mansion in front of his desk. In front of him was a newly written blog post accusing everyone who believed some sort of god was behind the mysterious lightning to be idiots. Coincidentally Dawkins seemed to have been struck by lightning.
The world was in panic. It didn't get better when religious leaders all over the world started to suffer from the by now classic ailment of being struck by lightning.
At Christmas eve the same year I had a weird dream. I was deep down in the water. It was very dark. I could hear a voice whisper something in my ear with a weird voice.
"Jaaames, I really liked Titanic. Great movie."
"Oh thanks, I don't wanna brag but I get that a lot". By now I new I was in a dream. Obviously you can't talk under water. "Who are you btw, it's dark here I can't see shit".
"Oh, it's god. We really should talk in person. Can you meet me at the bottom of the ocean tomorrow?".
"What? Uh, okay I guess. Just the bottom then? No specific place?"
"Yeah, I'll find you, I'm god after all"
Then I woke up. I knew what I had to do. I ran to my u-boat. And starting riding downwards. I saw a goldfish in front of me and was just about drive right through it.
Suddenly I can hear a thundering voice. "Stop that boat man. Are you gonna drive over me?". "I'm sorry god, didn't know you were a fish. Why have you called upon me?". "Yeah James could you just go ahead and tell the world to stop throwing garbage in the sea?". "OK, I replied". "But probably people won't listen, humanity is retarded considering how smart we actually are". God seemed to ponder on things a bit. "Well..then I'll simply have to kill all of humanity with lightning. Except you James. I loved Titanic".
And when I came out of the water every human being had turned to ash. I don't really know who I am writing this for. I guess it's kinda therapeutic.