[WP] God has run out of new souls and decided to give those trapped in hell a chance for redemption.

God:What do you mean? Angel: We ain't ga no mo soulz boss! God: I told you 100 times to NEVER TALK TO ME IN YOUR STREET LANGUAGE!! Angel: Sorry God. God: Okay, now let us find a solution. What could we do? Angel: How 'bout.. Sorry.. How about we recycle? God: Recycle? Angel: Yes! We use the bad ones in Hell and put them back on Earth! God: But they are bad! Angel: We ain't ga no choice! God (in an angry voice): I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL.. Angel interrupts: sorry, sorry, my apologies.. What I am trying to say is that we should give them another chance to redeem themselves and get to heaven, since hell is overcrowded already anyway! God: Okay let us do that then. Angel: but we have one problem.. God: what is it? Angel: Jesus lost the key.. God: What key? Angel: Key to hell.. God: What do you mean he lost the key? Why does he have the key in the first place? he is not in charge of the key! You are! Angel: Right.. But what happened was is that he wanted to get in there one day to hang out with his old friends, and I could not say no to the boss's son! God: So how did he lose it? Angel: He got into a fight. God: With who? Angel: Mohammad. God: Oh God.. Angel: and it fell into the whole that leads to earth. God: OMFG! So what you are telling me is that the key to Hell is on Earth! Angel: Yes it is. God: But why didn't you tell me earlier? Angel: because Jesus would get mad at me. God: Okay then send someone to earth to find the key and bring it back here, and I will keep it with me from now on! Angel: We did that already God.. God: Okay.. Where is it? Angel: The earth people found it first! and they are hiding it from us. They somehow knew it is the key to hell and they hid it from us. God: What the hell! How did they know it is the key to hell? Angel: Jesus.. Jesus wrote on it "HELL" so we would not confuse it with the key to Heaven. God: So what do we do now? Angel: There is nothing we can do.. The word got out that we lost the key and Earth people realized that there is no hell no mo', so they started raping each other in the ass. God: You gotta be kidding me! Angel: No sir. Look through the holy hole and you will see that your self! God: I don't want to see that.. I can't take it. Angel: You know? I got an idea! God: Go ahead.. We are already screwed. Angel: How about we switch Earth into "the new hell"? This way Earth will be Hell, and heaven will stay heaven, and we would not need to worry about the key or the souls shortage! God: But what about the current Hell? Angel: I don't know, we can make it into "the new Earth" I guess! There is not much difference anyway.. God: But how would this work? Shouldn't we plan it first? Angel: We did not plan this before, and it all worked out remember? God: That was long time ago! I can't even remember.. Angel: Same thing now, it will AALL work out God.. God: Okay do what you gotta do. I am sick of this job anyway and I need to go to sleep. Angel: I am on it Boss! Good night!

/r/WritingPrompts Thread