Thomas Bradley had nothing left to live for.
He had been aware of that cold, hard fact for nearly two years, and his brain would remind him every day of all the reasons why life just wasn't worth living.
It was a voice in the back of his head that would say things like, "Your parents think you're a failure," and, "No girl has ever truly love you," and, "No matter how much you think you might matter in this world, you're not even a speck of dust in the grand scheme of the universe," just to name a few of the big things, but sometimes it was the small things that would sting the most. It was the voice that reminded of him of that time in 8th english class when he went to ask his middle school crush to the dance by putting a big teddy bear on her desk with the a note that said, "I would be BEARY happy if you went to the dance with me," and that voice reminded him of how she just laughed and laughed. That voice reminded him of the stares he got from the class the rest of the day and how just wanted to slump far into his desk and disappear. And now, 14 years later, that voice continues to remind him of such a small memory that show-cased one of Tom's many failures. He knew deep down she probably wouldn't even remember such a thing, but he did, and that's the only thing that seemed to matter to him. Tom was reminded of that incident everyday along with 28 years of other stupid shit he had done.
And after failing out of college, and getting fired from his job at a construction company for not staying on top of deadlines, Thomas had spent the past two years living in an apartment by himself while he flipped burgers at Applebees. He never hung out with anyone. He never tried to ask anyone to go anywhere. Getting out of the house had become a foregin concept to Thomas, instead every night he would go home by himself and do whatever he could to silence that persistent voice that would constantly remind him of what a failure he was. It was mostly alcohol, but on a few, very happy, occassions he got his hands on the more powerful drugs that were out there. Cocaine had always been his favorite, until one special night Adam from his job had hooked him up with some heroin, and it was like nothing he had every experienced.
That voice was gone.
The sadness was gone.
Tom just felt happiness. Pure, straight happiness.
Yet still, Tom was a reasonable person. He knew there was good way of going about doing heroin all the time to feel happy, so his first time had become his last, but every day he longed for that feeling again. He couldn't believe how nice it was to just feel happy.
So when he saw this new miracle drug on the news, True Euphoria as they'd been calling it, it seemed like heaven to him.
A drug that makes you feel an unparalleled euphoria like nothing that you've ever felt before.
A drug that makes heroin, meth, cocaine, seem like nothing at all.
A drug that makes you feel more happy than you've ever felt in your life for a week straight.
But of course, the drug had it's downsides. Once you come off your week-long high, it's lights out for good. There's also the terrifying uncertainty that goes along with the drug. Although those who create the drug assured that it was the most enjoyable experience that was possible to be felt by man, all of those who had taken it died after week, and had spent that week too zonked out of their mind to explain what the experience was actually like.
So for obvious reasons, Thomas was hesitant to take the drug, but after getting layed off his job at Applebees, he decided he'd lived enough of his miserable life.
He talked to Adam from working about finding him some True Euphoria. Adam didn't bother trying to convince Thomas to not go through with it. He knew times were rough, and figured you might as well go out on a good note. So after a few weeks of searching, Adam had found him a $450 dollar pill. Thomas had spent his last money on Earth purchasing it, not that he would need it any longer.
He had held onto the pill for about a three
Thomas Bradley had nothing left to live for.
He had been aware of that cold, hard fact for nearly two years, and his brain would remind him every day of all the reasons why life just wasn't worth living.
It was a voice in the back of his head that would say things like, "Your parents think you're a failure," and, "No girl has ever truly love you," and, "No matter how much you think you might matter in this world, you're not even a speck of dust in the grand scheme of the universe," just to name a few of the big things, but sometimes it was the small things that would sting the most. It was the voice that reminded of him of that time in 8th when he went to ask his middle school crush to the dance by putting a big teddy bear on her desk with the a note that said, "I would be BEARY happy if you went to the dance with me," and that voice reminded him of how she just laughed and laughed. That voice reminded him of the stares he got from the class the rest of the day and how just wanted to slump far into his desk and disappear. And now, 14 years later, that voice continues to remind him of such a small memory that show-cased one of Tom's many failures. He knew deep down she probably wouldn't even remember such a thing, but he did, and that's the only thing that seemed to matter to him. Tom was reminded of that incident everyday along with 28 years of other stupid shit he had done.
And after failing out of college, and getting fired from his job at a construction company for not staying on top of deadlines. Thomas had spent the past two years living in his small, dirty house by himself while he flipped burgers at Applebees, and every night he would go home and do whatever he could to silence that persistent voice that would constantly remind him of what a failure he was. It was mostly alcohol, but on a few very happy occassions he got his hands on the more powerful drugs that were out there. Cocaine had always been his favorite, until one special night Adam from his job had hooked him up with some heroin, and it was like nothing he had every experienced.
That voice was gone.
The sadness was gone.
Tom just felt happiness. Pure, straight happiness.
Yet still, Tom was a reasonable person. He knew there was good way of going about doing heroin all the time to feel happy, so his first time had become his last, but every day he longed for that feeling again. He couldn't believe how nice it was to just feel happy.
So when he saw this new miracle drug on the news, True Euphoria as they'd been calling it, it seemed like heaven to him.
A drug that makes you feel an unparalleled euphoria like nothing that you've ever felt before.
A drug that makes heroin, meth, cocaine, seem like nothing at all.
A drug that makes you feel more happy than you've ever felt in your life for a week straight.
But of course, the drug had it's downsides. Once you come off your week-long high, it's lights out for good. There's also the terrifying uncertainty that goes along with the drug. Although those who create the drug assured that it was the most enjoyable experience that was possible to be felt by man, all of those who had taken it died after week, and had spent that week too zonked out of their mind to explain what the experience was actually like.
So for obvious reasons, Thomas was hesitant to take the drug, but after getting layed off his job at Applebees, he decided he'd lived enough of his miserable life.
He talked to Adam from working about finding him some True Euphoria. Adam didn't bother trying to convince Thomas to not go through with it. He knew times were rough, and figured you might as well go out on a good note. So after a few weeks of searching, Adam had found him a $450 dollar pill. Thomas had spent his last money on Earth purchasing it, not that he would need it any longer. He kept the pill for three days after he purchased, contemplating whether or not to go through with it. He realized going through with taking it was a lot easier said than done.
But that Saturday, Thomas's 29th birthday rolled around. He told himself he needed just one phone call and he wouldn't go through with it. But the whole day he sat by his land line waiting for a call and there was nothing.
Nothing.
No one had remember.
No one had cared.
So that night, Thomas Bradley put a pill of True Euphoria in his mouth and swallowed.
And then he waited.
He looked at the clock. It was 10:30.
He felt nothing.
He sat in his basement surrounded by bottles of water, pretzels (his favorite snack) and in front of the television. Next to the television was a clock that had the date and time. He turned on the TV and began watching Naruto, his favorite show ever since he was a kid. He was six episodes in, and before he knew it, it was 1:00 in the morning. He was enjoying it, but other than slightly better TV, Thomas hadn't felt any different.
He turned off the TV and decided he should just get some sleep. He had begun thinking he had been ripped off $450 dollars, when it hit him.