Another day, another exam. On today's menu: the kidneys. By now I've learned to completely zen out before exams. You know, find my happy place and all that. But I'm a little more worried about this one because I can't for the life of me keep track of which electrolytes go in which cells, and man who cares anyways? Speaking of electrolytes, time to go clear that gatorade out of my bladder before I forget and get locked into the exam room with a bladder full of spiteful little sodium fuckers.
Man, am I the only one who can't wait for next month so they take down this ridiculous mural? I mean, I'm all for prostate awareness and all, but I don't even think it's this month. Plus, I'd rather not think about a transurethral anything when I'm about to go pee. Just thinking about it gives me involuntary penile spasms. Shit, shit, can't get the thought out of my head. Errrfffttttt! Oh man, uhh, shit glad that's over. I think I'll sit down for this piss. Yup, yeah just going to sit, right, down. Okay. Moment passed, where all good.
Not gonna lie, Lobster Dick is one of my favorite creations. I mean, just look at him. He started off some poor soul's embarrassing rendering of a penis. Now, not only is he a glorious cock to behold, but he's got a ceiling to floor series of comics on his exploits. My favorite is when he goes to Gonorrhea Gully. I think the most underrated part of all this is that he's survived the janitor's wrath for over a year. I think the janitor is a low-key fan.
Anyways, better get to the exam room. The kidney waits for no man! Just a quick rinse and we're out of he--"
"Hey you hypocritical scum of the earth! You're gonna be a fucking doctor! Use some soap for fuck's sake!"
Now who the FUCK has the nerve? I will literally murder this piece of...No. Wait. Wait. What? Jesus I'm a little worried about the exam, but what the fuck is wrong with me?
"Yeah that's right you piece of cum. It's me. Shit just got real, buddy. Because of you, I'm stuck in bathroom stall purgatory, you inconsiderate barely-wipes-his-ass-fucker."
"Wh-what do you mean?" Christ, what is happening. I'm tripping balls.
"You didn't finish the last comic, you idiot. Remember? You wanted it to be the most epic one yet, but you ran out of space. What kind of idiot doesn't plan for space? I mean, fuck man, your artistic skills are on point--just look at me. But you're spatial planning and shit? We gotta work on that, kid."
I'm...gonna go now. Yeah, I don't have time to work out whatever fucked up shit is going on in my mind right now. Just pull it together and take that exam and go get some sleep or somethi--
"OOOOWWWWWWWASDLFALKSDJFKAHSDF WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!"
"Bet you're not so glad you gave me these big ass fucking claws now, are you? Now just bring that skinny little ass back into this stall and we're gonna fix this."
"Christ, dude, okay! Just get your claw off my ass. I have to go take an exam, but I promise I'll come back and finish the drawing once I'm done."
"Aha, well, you see, fucker, it's not that simple. You need to come to the source."
"I don't even want to know what that means. I'm leaving."
"GET YOUR FUCKING ASS INTO THAT STALL AND CLIMB IN THAT FUCKING TOILET BEFORE I CLAW YOUR TINY DICK RIGHT THE FUCK OFF."
Holy fuck man. Someone help me. Help. Help. HELP. HEEEEELP. HELLLPASD;FHLAKSDGH!
"Yeah, get in that toilet you little twat. One way or another, you're getting me to the Silicone Sand dunes."