"Congrats Pookaholo! It's your coming of age day!"
The deep vibrant voice of my father wakes me up from my dream about chainsaw babes and saw porn. 'Why does he always come into my room...'
I make sure my box of chainsaw porn mags is hidden, as I pretend to stretch before retreating under my blankets again.
"C'mon kiddo, you're ceremony is in ten minutes!" he urges me as he shakes me fanatically.
"UGGHHHH" I groan as I reluctantly sit up. "Fine."
My name is Pookaholo LumberHand, 16 years old today, and the youngest of the LumberHand Clan. Typically, every 16 year old in our tribe has to go out and build his first home using whichever tree he chooses. Our fathers train us well, so most of the time we come back alive, although that wasn't the case for poor old Kivinoscu.
And today's my day! I've been training since I was 5, hunting the local saplings with my father. I'm called a prodigy tree killer, so I guess there are high expectations of me today.
"Alright Pookaholo, the elders are going to send you out soon. Remember everything I taught you. And come back alive." my father warns with a worried face.
"I'll be fine dad, don't worry." I reply with a smile. I go on my way and take the Path of Vegetation towards the forest.
I hear my dad yell from the start when I'm already far off, "I'LL GET YOU THE NEW BUZZSAW MODEL!"
I smile as I catch a visual of the forest. They're drinking water. They follow the rain, and never stay in one place. 'They haven't seen me yet...'
My father drilled the conditions of this test into me, Find A tree, Kill it, Bring it back. Simple. Now which tree to pick...
'That's a nice willow on the side, but it's color is too weak. Oh look! A strong oak, too bad it's leaves are hideous, that Sakura tree looks nice although it's a bit too young. Hmmmmmmmm'
And then I see them. The greatest trees of all. The most powerful, each with their own abilities and specialties.
Yggdrasil, the Tree of Life, The White Tree of Gondor, Treebeard, Whomping Willow, The Home Tree.
They are the Sacred Six. No tribesman has ever touched them and survived. But then again, no tribesman was ever as skilled as me.
'Any one of them would do'
I sneak up behind The Whomping Willow, my footsteps silent, I hear it's massive roots absorbing the water as it grumbles to Yggdrasil. They're speaking...
'This is probably far enough for today. I should think of a plan first.' I think to myself.
I turn around, but I see something from the corner of my eye. I notice it too late. The branch grabs my leg and holds me up, I drop my saw as I face the pale beauty of the Tree of Gondor. 'Shit'
"Well well well, Master Gondor, what have you there?" asks The Tree of Life, swaying slowly.
"A human my barkness" replied the White Tree.
"Perfect, we were looking for a human to....test on..." said Yggdrasil his branches shaking in excitement, his leaves turning red in happiness.
"Fuck you. You're just a tree. " I say angrily, how dare these trees speak to me like this. They should know their place.
"Oh how we've lost the respect of humans, haven't we Yggdrasil...? It's saddening. We were once revered as gods..." said the Tree of Life sadly.
"As if any human would worship a stup-" I'm cut off when a jolt of pain strikes me. It hurts. Everything hurts. My legs are stiff. My arms are stiff. My face feels dry.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOOOT- DOING to MEOOOT-" I scream "STOPPOOOT. GROOOT. GROOT. Groot."
"He is one of us now. We shall name him Groot my fellow photosynthetic brethren." said Yggdrasil as he placed 'Groot' down onto the ground.
"Is he loyal?" asked the Whomping Willow suspiciously/
"Ask him yourself." replied Yggdrasil
The Whomping Willow turned to 'Groot' and beckoned for an answer with his root. "Well?"
Groot