3. [WP] You're sitting in a coffee shop, sipping your latte, when someone approache...

[WP] You're sitting in a coffee shop, sipping your latte, when someone approaches you says something in an unknown language. After a moment, you realized you understand, but you don't know how as you only know english. What's more concerning, is she said "It's time."

It's hot. Scalding, in fact. Just the way I like it, I'm finding out. Leaves it's mark on the tongue.

I've got my phone out and I'm looking at this blue and gold dress that everyone keeps banging on about when this girl walks over. Well, I didn't see her walk over. I assume she did, coulda flew. Looks enough like an angel for it. Maybe I should use that line. I got to say someth-

"Hluyea, ji hep."

I am about to speak when she embarrasses us both. Very loudly. Maybe she's foreign.

"Sorry, I don't understand you, love."

She smiles.

"How's this?"

Obviously, I smile back.

"Queen's English."

"Great. Listen cutie, I'm gonna need you to- is this seat taken? You're not waiting for someone are you?"

I open my mouth to speak again, and again she cuts me o-

"What am I talking about, of course you don't."

And she sits down.

"Not like you have a girlfriend or anything, right?"

I smile politely like I'm back in high school getting teased. I'm not completely sure I'm not. I feel compelled to check I've not been wedgied.

"Right."

She smiles again. Oblivious to human manners.

"So, anyway I'm Mary."

"Hi Ma-"

"And I've been sent, well I say sent, it was my blooming idea in the first place.. I 'drew the short straw' to be the one to meet you."

Every word is shrinking me. I look around to see her group of friends, giggling. Another dare. Also, how does she know 'drew the short straw' but not 'Hello'?

"Well, that's as may be but-"

She slaps the desk with emphasis, "So! Here's the thing."

"Yes?"

She leans over the table, looking deep into my eyes. I can only look back. Shallowly.

"It's time."

And in that moment I realize we've not been talking the Queen's English at all. She said "ji hep" I heard it. But I understood it. I could swear I never took gibberish in school, yet..

"Ji hep?" I say.

"Ji hep, holci." She replies, nodding.

Staring. Waiting. Big blue eyes. Big wild hair. Black hair. Very black hair, but still natural. Cute nose. Cutting cheekbones.

I try to focus. "Time for what?"

She slaps me. She grabs my collar with both hands and kisses me full on the mouth. When she's done, she shakes me a little with every word.

"It. Is. Time. For. The. Thing."

I stare.

"GOD you're so cute when you're stupid! I wanna grab your shirt and ruffle your hair and eat your eyes and just- just- aaaghhh!"

"Well, alright."

"But first we gotta go, really."

"Okay." Shit, I'm not gonna say no, am I?

She gets up and I follow her. She leaves a taste in your mouth, does our Mary. She grabs my phone, takes one look and smashes it on the ground.

"Umm"

"Shut up, it's black and white, it doesn't matter. Nothing with no color matters now."

"What?"

"The dress. Hurry up."

We're out of the coffee shop and heading to an unmarked white van by the time I decide kooky fun's over. I stop.

"Seriously, Mary? Whoever you are, I'm not going in there. Nuh-uh. You're not getting my organs."

I turn to leave.

"Stop!"

I head back to get my coffee.

"GET BACK HERE NOW YOU ALWAYS DO THIS."

I stop.

"We've never met."

"You're my husband you idiot, get in the van."

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