I wasn't eligible for FMLA for that restaurant anyhow, it really is no good talking about it. Plus, since it was a small business of less than 50 full-time employees, I don't think they're compelled to comply with FMLA in the first place. Finally, and I hope I can clear this up once and for all, they withheld my paycheck for hours that I DID work until I told them why exactly I had been hospitalized. It was always within their rights to fire me for any reason or none at all (this is the US and pretty much every state is at-will). However, they had zero right to withhold my paycheck for any reason for hours already worked.

As for the school, my mom did end up disclosing that my then-crippling anxiety from some on-going trauma coupled with ADD (both diagnosed by a doctor and confirmed and treated by both the doctor and the psychologist I was also seeing) wasn't going to be conducive to test-taking in a large classroom with the time limit given - after my psychiatrist already wrote a note listing that restriction. And then even after they were told by the psychiatrist and my mother the diagnosis, they still wanted me to somehow "prove it". Like my recently slipping test scores plus my mom plus a fucking psychiatrist weren't enough. In truth, the psychiatrist also wanted me to have an individual tutor as well, but I balked at that because it would have required an IEP which I neither wanted nor felt I needed, and my mom agreed - I ended up getting really, really good at studying at home until Mom sacrificed a lot to get me into a good private school. (And then Mom got upset that I wouldn't take the extra time I was now guaranteed because I was afraid I'd get shit on again. I was 11.)

I am still going to say that you need to stop assuming that you are not required to disclose medical conditions in specific cases.

I'm not saying that I shouldn't in specific cases, but in the case with the workplace it was absolutely unnecessary, and the case with the school went beyond a demand for disclosure because someone didn't want to take a clearly serious thing seriously. Furthermore, while you are required to disclose a diagnostic code for FMLA filings, you are not legally required to tell people who don't need to know (that is, anyone who isn't HR or occupational health) what the diagnosis is, only the absences/restrictions (i.e. I'd have to tell my institution's occupational health folks if I were, say, undergoing radiation therapy, but all my supervisor needs to hear is how long I'll be gone and what restrictions on my ability to work would be present upon my return). That is all that's legally required. Because we have a right to privacy for things that aren't relevant. The actual diagnosis for everyday work restrictions is only relevant in that the ADA doesn't cover for every illness and certainly doesn't cover for made-up bullshit. But those self-reports are still kept private and on a need-to-know basis, with most people you work with only having to know your restrictions/accommodations.

I feel like we've gone off on this awfully personal tangent where you're under the false impression that I'm some entitled special snowflake trying to defend fellow melodramatic drama queens who make up diagnoses. I'm not. I'm trying to say that the kinds of people who make jokes about the melodramatic drama queens are rarely so discerning when someone with an actual diagnosed illness comes along, so the contribute just as much to the issues with stigma that many people struggling with mental illness still have to face.