My wife got a $4 plant from walmart last weekend when they were on sale. She was way less than enthused. I asked her about it this morning, she described it as "Oh. Now I have to take care of another thing. I just wanted flowers."
Fast forward 1 week. I added some water occasionally, she added some occasionally. Through the week it grew, and today, it's nicely blossomed and they'll be around for a longer time. They were also something she had to put effort into. "You got me flowers and you did it your own way."
For me, the lack of instant gratification and being a cliche was important too. I know the wife likes flowers on valentine's day, so I wasn't going to deny her that - but this was a cooler and cheaper solution. It's pretty funny how the change in attitude towards the present changed as the aim came into focus. When it was a couple of bulbs, it was uninteresting. When they started growing, it caught her attention. When they were blossomed, she enjoyed them.
On a sidenote, getting into homegrown herbs (basil, thyme, etc.) is also on my list of to-dos. Things like thing might help with getting the wife to help in that department because taking care of this plant was "so easy".
She said that I had been acting more like a woman. When she saw my look of shock, she quickly defended herself, "Well what did you want me to say? I have not been acting like a man! and, well, you have been acting more like a woman by buying me all this stuff and the love notes for Valentine's day...."
The relationship between my comment and OPs post boils down to this - being a man is as easy as taking charge of your own directions. It's not a matter of just being a lazy unthinking reactionary. It's about taking ownership in communicating the efforts in a way you deem acceptable.
