Any attempt to be myself or express any sort of individuality around my dad was met with a lecture on respect and how doing those things was disrespectful toward him.

I would see how my friends would interact with their dads and it made me jealous. It looked like they were friends. They would laugh and joke with each other. My friends acted silly and whacky and like children and their dads would play along if the kids weren't too out of line. My relationship with my dad just felt like strictly business. I attribute my social anxieties to this. I suppress parts of my personality because of him. And all of his bullshit about respect..I'm not even sure he knows what the word means. One day he disappeared for a week without telling anyone, we all assumed he was dead but it turns out he was in Kiev getting married to a woman 20 years younger than him and just ditching my mom. Seems pretty disrespectful to me.

My dad sucks, every little thing he does annoys the shit out of me. Maybe he felt that way about me when I was younger and that's why he suppressed me.