It was so harmful to me. I wasn't really aware at all of my weight before that, but after seeing the numbers there, I remember being devastated that I couldn't keep my weight down as I grew. I know that for a lot of people eating disorders are a way for them to control something in their lives, but because I was actively growing, this wasn't something I could control and I think that kick-started a lot of other social anxieties for me. I remember trying so hard to stay 65 pounds, but once I hit puberty it didn't matter how little I ate or how much I exercised, that just wasn't going to be possible. I also remember the moment I passed 72 pounds (which was the weight of my favorite gymnast, near my height at the time, plastered across my television screen) and there was just nothing I could do about it.

I just wish I had never been prompted to think about it by my television screen. I'm sure it would have happened eventually, but this was just so unnecessary.