I had a partner who couldn't stay hard during sex and even when he could stay hard he could never get off inside me. I could never get him off with a hj or a bk no matter what I did and how long I did it for. A lot of women blame it on porn but it was really just the way he was jacking it. He had to stop for 3-6 months and then relearn how to masturbate. Porn isn't really a bad thing. It's something that people can get addicted to. It's something that can ruin the perceptions men have about sex. There are some pretty negative points to it sure. But is it cheating, imo no. I can see cam girls, gonewild, or IG/fb pics as three things that could cross the line but the mass produced porn? Naw.

See I don't buy that. You have more than two choices. I know you said you are not really religious but see if you can find someone with those values who doesn't like porn. Seek out a sex therapist to help you sort this out. And I think you're building up porn too much and maybe giving it too much credit. You think men are watching porn and thinking of themselves nailing the porn star. Maybe. Some are just getting off to watching it. Those are two different things. Are both bad? Is one worse than the other? Why? Why is watching someone have sex with someone else so bad? Is it because you hold sex to a higher standard? Have you inflated it to a degree that anything that reminds you that it is a pretty animalistic and base act disturbs you? I can understand being uncomfortable with a partner imagining themselves fucking someone else. But those are their private thoughts and I really don't feel comfortable being the thought police. And I don't think it's healthy to work yourself up over it. If they want to shoot their load over the thought of banging some redhead with giant tits who is calling them daddy then who am I to be bothered by it when they'll be in bed with me and only me later that day?