Hmm you're the second person to mention the he was anticipating a break up, but as I said in the earlier post, I really wasn't getting the sense of that. You're right though - I got a contract for a year job in another country that isn't the one he moved to. The plan was that I would go to this country to work for a year (I've always wanted to live temporarily) while he decided if the country he was in was where he wanted to stay/I would visit to see if I could see myself living there.

Up until the whole abortion deal we were fine, or so I thought. We were making plans for my next visit down, we talked every day on the phone

But you could be entirely right.

I wholeheartedly understand that the reason he asked me to keep it a secret was because he was embarrassed and didn't want to be judged. I feel both of those things, so I understand that. Still, you're right.

If I lost a relative, I guess I would expect the same level of support as I was hoping to get here.. asking me how I was doing, taking the time to talk.

Thank you for your advice - framing it like the death of a relative puts it into perspective for me.