I just want you to know that my mum and I were the happiest little pair throughout my childhood and we still have a close relationship. She’s ‘alone’ and so she happy to have her space, her freedom, and her home is her sanctuary. Her mind is clear from worry, she goes to work without ever worrying what happens when she gets home and then enjoys her hobbies. She lives her life like she wants to.

She had to walk away from family and all of her ‘friends’ but she made a beautiful life from that. I see how my mum loves herself and it’s a guidebook for me.

It has hard financially being a single mother but she made the little things beautiful. I felt nothing but love and nurturance from her. Love isn’t about having a partner, love is many number of things. It’s tender, it’s kindness, it’s safety and ease.

Loving yourself is allowing yourself to be present and mindful, if that’s gardening or taking care of house plants, or putting a fresh sheets on the bed and enjoying the crisp new linen, or making a salad beautiful by arranging it nicely on the plate, or drinking your coffee in a park and appreciating the way light is falling through trees, or anything that engages your senses. When you fill your life up with those moments you start to see what peace is, and you notice what takes your peace.

Please know that it’s the right thing to leave. At first you might feel afraid or not be able to imagine life without him. Fantasise about your ideal life, what it would be like to have peace, the moments you will enjoy with your daughter and how you could be a role model for her.

You need a role model, so think about a woman you admire. This could be someone you know, someone you’ve only read about, a fictional character. You could create your own character from aspects you admire. Then invest in this being you, commit to this person in your mind.

You’re already working so hard, but it’s time to pour all that work and love into yourself and your daughter and watch as your lives bloom.

Good luck. You’ve got this!