So this happened last night:
So last night, after I get one baby to sleep, I go upstairs to see our pre-teen feeding the other baby, and my wife is in her room on her phone, for over an hour, and she's texting someone. I demand to see who she's texting. She quickly backs out of iMessage, to her home screen. I ask again to see who she's texting, she opens up a different iMessage chat. I tell her that's a different chat window. She argues with me. I demand to see her phone, she refuses. It escalates into an argument.
I go back downstairs to my room, and she comes down 5 minutes later and shoves her phone in my face and tells me to look. I tell her it doesn't matter. She's had 5 minutes to delete anything she doesn't want me to see. So it doesn't matter, and I don't care.
She then calls me all kinds of names, and makes accusations against me. Telling me that we're never going to move forward if I don't trust her.
What a crap show this has become. Grey rock it is.