Before him I was a good Christian girl and a virgin so I had nothing to compare him to. So I didn’t know how good it could be and I just stopped caring for sex and my libido went to nil even before the porn and affairs. Don’t get me wrong— shirtless men still got me excited. But sex with John had the appeal of a dentist visit. I mean I still wanted sex, but great sex. Not this unromantic, unsexy, choreographed, mechanical thing he called sex. Other women talked about their love lives and I always envied them. I tried envisioning what “great sex” was like. Once I found the porn and sexting to his coworkers, I was done. He wasn’t just a bad lay anymore. He was a conniving, lying, selfish asshole who was bad at sex. I think that was my breaking point when I started looking outside my marriage for another man.