Why is it necessary to diminish a woman to one facet of her life? And why do you care in the first place? I just don't understand.

Well, actually I kinda do understand. I was a hate-filled CFer once. That "justifying hatred" aligned with a lot of issues in my life - absent father + biracial growing up surrounded by white people + cultural erasure and identity issues + growing up poor and being jealous of those who didn't + what I know call an abusive childhood but had trouble accepting as such + poor critical skills.

I joined a CF comm that was an echo-chamber for people to bitch and complain about children, demean people who chose to have children and held up environmental benefits as a stand-in moral compunction for that extra spring in our step. But I fucked up out of anger and hatred and hurt somone really badly with hate and bile and probably ruined one of the most significant moments of their life - the birth of their first kid.

I carried some fucked up anger inside me. I didn't want it anymore so I went and sought help. I worked my arse off in therapy to deal with the shit I had stored up and been gifted by those who were responsible for my existence. I also went back to school and learned how to recover my empathy and be a thinking person.

I don't know very much, but I know judging others by your own fucked-up yard stick is unfair and warps reality until all you can focus on is the thing that you hate because it's a twin to the hurt that you're hiding from.