Can you imagine discovering a legitimate fear of something that you had once really wanted to do, and having to break the heart of your spouse? Nobody here is putting themselves in her position. Imagine that you and your partner both dreamed of sailing the world together, then one day you realize you have a fear of the ocean and dont think it's something you want to do anymore. Maybe for a little while you still go along with the idea, maybe your still dealing with a lot of internal struggle. Then your spouse finds out before your ready to tell them, and they blow up about it and leave. Sure it's a lifestyle change and a dream that they have to give up on, but honestly it would be devastating to find out that your whole marriage was based on this plan to sail the world working out. Shit happens, for better or worse.