you said you don't have a relationship with your father and that you know he poisoned Jerry against you. from jerry's point of view, he possibly believes he needs to protect his dad from you. he probably doesn't accept that dad isn't coming back, and may see any action you take to deal with the next steps as an attempt to "get rid of dad". Jerry is not processing things rationally right now and is experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. You're not the asshole, and you did the right thing not letting him disrespect the medical staff. However, I would try to have a conversation with Jerry and explain that you just want to help, that you're not there to gloat over the dad, maybe explain your side of the story, try to get him to see you as support rather than an enemy.

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NTA