One part of leaving TSCC is developing an ethical framework to operate within that works for you. I'm curious how you've arrived at your decisions about morality. What does it say about someone (to you) if they drink? If they've had sex? Why is someone more or less moral if they smoke? If they watch porn? What does it mean about their character, their intelligence, their integrity? How do you believe associating with someone who enjoys the things you've chosen to avoid will affect you personally? How have you determined that coffee or alcohol are good barometers of moral uprightness?

This sounds accusatory, but I'm genuinely curious if you've asked yourself these types of questions. I hadn't, when I left the church. It took years of staying on autopilot and reflexively clinging to the 'morality' that had been drilled into my head ("I'm not going to be mormon anymore, but I'm still going to be a "good" person...so I'd better not drink this coffee. Oh, that person had premarital sex, so they are unworthy and thus cannot truly love or respect others, they are automatically out as a potential partner." Etc etc etc.)

It took years to unclench and actively think about what were ethically-grounded beliefs and what were ingrained prejudices. Then it took many more years to bounce what I thought were solid beliefs against my experiences to test whether I was on the right track or needed to calibrate. You ultimately may land in a different place than I did, but becoming the type of person who can thoughtfully defend what kind of practices you want your life to include makes you less threatened by people who don't adhere to similar beliefs and more attractive to both people who do and don't share those beliefs.