Talk to her about it and see what you can come up with. Obviously it will be harder to compromise if you want to elope and she wants to have a wedding with a lot of guests and a big bridal party, but maybe she wants to have a smaller wedding anyway? Plus even if you don't elope, there are a lot of little details that can add up to make you more comfortable no matter what the size of the wedding:

• having a short ceremony
• not writing your own vows
• not doing any speeches
• no receiving line
• not doing that thing where they announce your arrival at the reception
• no first dance
• limiting the number and scope of the wedding-related events (some people have a shower, sometimes multiple showers, bachelor/ette parties, engagement party, social, rehearsal dinner, pre-wedding brunch, post-wedding brunch, "after party" etc.-- seems exhausting!)
• be strategic about the timing of the wedding and the way your guests act. Some people want to party all night... if you have a lot of those then choose a venue that closes at a certain time, start later and don't arrange for anyone to meet at a bar later for an "after party." If you don't have a lot of people in your families that typically stay up all freaking night, then maybe an earlier afternoon wedding will be better because people will actually go home.
• Arrange for a "hiding place" to disappear to from time to time so you can take a breather.
• do not hire pushy people to do your music, etc.
• schedule a lot of alone time the day of the wedding. This might be hard if you have to run around doing stuff like setting up and answering questions, so try to block it out ahead of time.