My flow isn't nearly as heavy as yours but I've found that the newer style of foam pads work wonders. I can't use tampons and the thick, lumpy older style pads fucking suck. The foam kind are more expensive but they're thinner and more absorbent imo.

I was on Depo as a teen, which for me stopped my period but I cant take it anymore because of the risk of bone loss in the long term.

This is probably me preaching to the choir but wearing dark pants, having a change of pants/underwear, and having a dedicated set of sheets for periods helps (also a plastic mattress cover).

One thing I recently discovered is that men's cotton briefs are great for periods. I can use a pad, the fabric is thicker (less leakage onto pants), and (for me at least) it reduces dysphoria. Boxer briefs and boxers are less helpful bc the cut makes wearing pads harder.