I was in a very bad relationship for almost 5 years. He was the first person I really fell in love with, so I stayed way to long. We moved in together and we were planning to get married even. In the beginning it wasn't too bad (now that I look back, it was bad from the start but I was blind) but over time he became more and more abusive. He hit me too. And I stayed because he told me noone would love me, I was lucky to have him. I'm not a very stable person (never have been) so I believed him. I thought I was worthless and deserved the way he treated me. He used a lot of drugs, so much that we didn't have money for food or rent. He isolated me from my family and friends. Kept losing his job. Didn't come home at night. Told lies all the time. If I think about it now I really do not understand why I stayed so long. We didn't have anything in common, not even sex. He cheated on me too.

Then one day I finally had enough. He went to a party without me. I couldn't go because I had sprained my ankle (guess who did that) and he kicked me in that same ankle when I asked him to please stay with me. So I stayed at home, alone, without being able to walk properly. We were living in really bad neighborhood at the time so I begged him to come home around 11 at night so I could lock the door. He told me to lock the door because he wasn't coming home untill the next morning. So I did and went to sleep at 10. Fast forward to 4 in the morning. I wake up from banging and screaming at the door. He came home and wanted in. Remember how I said I couldn't walk properly? It took me some time to get to the front door and open it. He pushed me inside (I fell down) and he swung an axe at me. Yes a real one. At that moment I realized he was high and drunk and he was either going to kill me or injure me really badly. And I realized that I didn't deserve that. I did nothing to deserve that reaction of him. So I ran (sort of) and hid myself in a closet and first called his parents. Big mistake. His mother blamed his behaviour on me, I deserved it. So then I called the police. All the while he was banging on the closet door, screaming for me to get out.

It's going to be 5 years this coming May since all this happened and I'm doing okay now. I still can't handle fights and screaming. My SO sometimes has a hard time with me because I can get into 'fight-mode' when I feel threatened. But I'm getting better, the nightmares have almost completely stopped now.