Yessss. but we're not dating yet. I left my nex quite recently. My nex was Mr. Know it all. Always condescending in his ways. Used to lurk around his exs social media all the freaking time. Apologized to me so many times but back to his same old pattern. Last I checked he's still doing it. Worst of all he uses his brother's social media handle to stalk his exs. Not his own account. Caught him sexting two times in a row. My soul literally gave up on him now I'm immune to his nonsense. It took me 3 days to clear all his clutter from my phone. Though I miss some of my pictures which were pretty decent but had to clear it all cause I can't stand his face. He was mentally and physically abusive person and had cheating/commitment issues. I look back at my last relationship and think wtf was that lol. I should have left earlier but you know how manipulative nex can be. His ex recently texted me and told me that she's not in touch with him and how she has zero interest and he's the one dragging this along. I told her he lurks around your profile all the time which she thought was creepy. I feel sorry for him lol. His friends doesn't like him so his only resort was to get back with his ex after every fight we had. I pity this person. I tried helping him with his mental health issues but he wasn't ready to help himself. Mental illness is not a deal breaker for me but cheating is. One of his ex reached out to me and asked me to be careful. Fuck me I didn't believe her. I still curse myself for that. Basically no one in his circle likes him and that should have been the biggest red flag for me. But I can be a dumbfuck sometimes.

Now about my current SO. We're not officially dating yet. As I told him I need sometime for myself. This guy, I know him since last 4 years. We met through one of our mutual friend. He told me he had feelings for me long before but I was dating someone at that point. But he has always been a nice friend. Most of all he's one of the nicest person that I know. He always respects my decision and takes my advice. I've never seen him angry. He's as understanding as one can get and as patient as lord Buddha. And note this, he's nice to everyone not just me. He has loving friends. He had a rough childhood and says he doesn't wanna inflict the pain he went through on someone else. Unlike my nex who used to give me crap cause of his dysfunctional family. He doesn't play the blame game. Our fight doesn't last for more than a minute. We're all about making up. Even when I'm upset or having an emotional outburst he's always there to calm me down. He's the sweetest soul ever. He checks on me every day, makes sure he calls me before hitting the sack. He knows what I've been through but he's not the one to judge. He didn't even called me stupid once for dragging my last relationship for so long after all the abuse. He has an angelic voice. I call it calming dad voice. The moment I listen to him, my temper cools down and guilt strikes for throwing tantrums for no reason because he always makes so much sense. For some reason he has always been there for me in all the good-bad times. Bad times especially. I used to call him my guardian angel as a joke when we were just friends cause its like he has a sixth sense for sensing that I'm in trouble. Never once has he hesitated to help me. No matter how mean I was to him. He's a very good looking guy and deep down I was a bit insecure as to how such a handsome man can be attracted to someone like me full of mental health issues. But all these years he has done nothing but proved himself that he's actually serious about me. He's helping me with my therapy and truth be told, more than my therapist he's the one who's actually getting me out of my current fucked up mental state. I think about him and I smile and cry cause he doesn't deserve a fucked up version of me. So I'm trying really hard to get better. We're in a long distance now cause Covid. I was really scared to get back into dating scene after leaving my nex but this man has literally showered me with all the love and support that my nex could never provide. This man has completely changed my outlook on life and relationship. We're in no rush and we're taking it slow. But we do have an advantage that we've known each other for so long. He knows my likes and dislikes. I'm getting to know his. He loves animals just as much as I do and we share each other cute baby animal pictures all the time haha. Damn me if I ever hurt this person. He's the nicest thing next to cheesecake. Just the thought of his existence makes me feel good. He's a very thoughtful person. He knows I've an issue with migraine, he did his research on it and directs me how to deal with it so on and so forth. I've never felt so loved before so it's a very scary feeling for me. But I really wanna get better for myself and this person. We're planning to adopt a dog once we meet. I can't wait to have morning breakfast with him, hug him, kiss him and tell him thank-you from the my bottom of heart for everything he does for me. I feel like I'm gonna cry when I see him as I'm a very emotional person but at least I'll cry with someone who actually cares about me and my well-being and that sums it up all.