As far as I know I'm not bipolar.

But there are days when I feel great: elated. On those days I know that the following day I'm going to wake up; without the least bit of my elation carrying over. That's usually when I want to kill myself the most. The mere thought of this impending downgrade in mood is so awful that my natural reaction is to think of killing myself, so that the high that is my elated self will never come down. What is so strange about it is that this is when I'm in a good mood. That's how great my elation is. Fortunately my state of non-elation: my depression, is never bad, but just bleh: meh. I have chronic depression, or so I'm told. If you ask me anyone with a fully functioning brain should be chronically depressed by the worlds chronic misery. People with chronic depression often think that their depression is really their personality, or so I'm told. Anyway, I can only imagine what it must be like for you. If I were bipolar and I wanted to live I'd probably have a partner or flatmate tie me up for 24 hours while I make my descent into my depressive state, at which point, I suspect, I won't be manic enough to kill myself. Maybe that's all you need? Maybe you should, in your manic state, drive to the hospital, and say: "Hello! I'm bipolar and I wish to be tied up while I make my descent into my depressive state, at which point, I suspect, I won't be manic enough to kill myself." Then they will tie you up, but it will be because you had them do it to you. Perhaps this could be a fun manic adventure for you? I think you should try it. This could become routine for you. This could be how you adapt. You simply go to the hospital and state what your needs are, while remaining totally polite and calm. "It's not such a big deal for me to request to be tied up, is it?" you could ask. "Don't make it dramatic, and if possible don't even charge me: it'd be nice if this was a routine treatment, which cost me nothing; I'm being very direct with my request, you see." you could say that, too. Anyway, like I said, I can only imagine it. Sorry this paragraph got to be so long. I was trying to empathize with you and my empathy got turned into advice. (which maybe you should follow?)