I may as well mention I have "tried" to kill myself at least 6 times over the past twelve years. Mostly by massive doses of specific substances. Once was 3000mg of diphenhydramine for a horrific delusional episode waking up in a mental ward. I did a ton of 2C-I, over 500 mg at once despite not hearing of more than one experience over 200mg across the entire internet. I know this stuff was not immediately fatal but I did as much as I did because I no longer cared. The 300+mg 3-Meo-PCP episode was especially RIDICULOUS. I used to do drugs to try to kill off brain cells and I succeeded! Only to be just as depressed and anxious with less actual idea of WHY. I am floored by how happy I can still sometimes get after the massively neurotoxic storms I have put myself through. I know I have permanently damaged my brain, and it only makes me want to end it moreso.