My boyfriend's situation is a bit similar to yours. He's 46 (I'm 28). He is blind in one eye and has multiple scars on his body from the physical/sexual abuse he suffered as a child. He has had no relationship with said abusive parents or his siblings since he left the house at 18. He worked in NGOs his whole life and never received a decent paycheck until he got his current job at 41. He's been through two horrific marriages/divorces (no kids) with abusive partners. In short, he hasn't had it very easy. Since we started dating, there has been a lot of crying on his part, sometimes out of nowhere. He's also fairly needy and clingy, which is to be expected; it comes with the territory. But it's okay, it's never too heavy for me.
I do feel a difference between your energy and my boyfriend's, though. For one, reading through your past posts, I detect a hint of misogyny. I know you say you've faced rejection a lot, but remember that women and men are essentially the same. It's not a problem with women you're having, it's a problem with people, specifically in romantic situations.
I don't know exactly what you're doing wrong, but your awareness of your victimhood is doing you no favors. If you approach life from the standpoint of, "I've had it so rough," you're in for a hell of a ride. People--not just women--run away from victims/wallowers. In fact, the only people who approach you will be abusers. You have got to get stronger mentally and socially.
If you are really as miserable as you claim, it's high time for you to get your shit together and change the things that are preventing you from achieving happiness. Starting with yourself. You are the ONLY one who can do this. No woman can do it for you. Women are not your problem, you are. If you are as good-looking and intelligent as you say you are, then I can only think it's a problem with your attitude and the energy you're projecting to the universe. Actively try and improve your social skills. Go out. Join a group of some kind. Get therapy. ALL of these are necessary expenses for you to get to a happier place.
I really do hope things get better for you. I am SURE there are women out there who would love to love you, if you can improve your attitude and outlook on life (said by someone who has a soft spot for guys like you, ha!). You are never too damaged, too old, or too "far gone" for love.