Dad of 5yo girl and 8yo boy here. I always thought the early years would be the hardest for me, and as they got older and I could talk to them, we'd get on a bit better.

Turns out I loved it when they couldn't answer back and were too young to fight with each other!

I certainly felt sidelined when they were babies as Wife did everything for them. She did have a year off for each of them, then only went back to work 2.5 days a week - working from home - so she did have an advantage there.

The straw that broke the Camel's back was when I went to a "Toddlers and Babies" session at my local Church hall. I'm the only man there. Lots of "babysitting today? Where's Mum?" questions.
18mo son needed a nappy changing. No facilities in the Gents, so I make my way carefully into the Ladies, only to be screeched at by a 70 year old woman who told me I couldn't do that. There were no other facilities. Their "solution" was "why don't you ask one of the Mums to do it for you?"

Fuck this. Took him home. Embarrassed and annoyed. Resolved to plan ahead - I'd take him to more places, do more with him, but I'd phone ahead and ask about facilities. I was responsible for baby changing tables being installed in the Gents at both my local soft play places.

When my daughter was born, I did the "skin to skin" contact that they recommend while Mum was taken to surgery (long story), and I think that's given me a different bond than I have with my son. She's not a Daddy's Girl by any stretch (she will always ask for Mum first) but we do more stuff together. I made sure I did as many of her bedtimes as Mum did. It's not perfect, and now she's able to answer back she's becoming a right little madam, but I think making sure I did my fair share with her was important.